


A Flower Of Hope Among Despair

by himeprince



Category: Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: F/F, F/M, Mental Illness, Nothing bad happens don't worry, Sexual Harassment, rape mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-21 23:52:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8264996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/himeprince/pseuds/himeprince
Summary: Your mission from Future Foundation was to locate and analyze Izuru Kamukura, and figure out how to bring him back to the Hope side. This didn't include eventually developing a rotten crush, and having that exploited by none other than the Mastermind herself.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I promise the chapters get better and longer as it goes on. Also rated mature for later chapters.

You were originally intended to infiltrate the Despair's base, observe Izuru Kamukura, and if deemed ready, notify Future Foundation to retrieve the two of you. It was simple. Since you were the Ultimate Psychologist, Future Foundation deemed you the best person to analyze Izuru. Even if he was, quote Tengen, "a tough nut to crack". The phrase itself was ridiculous and made you chuckle to yourself as you approached the towering castle-like building.

  
Raising a small hand to knock on the door, you hesitated. Junko Enoshima was supposed to bring in anyone in Despair; but what if it wasn't the mastermind herself that opened the door? What if you were killed instantly, or worse - kept in some deep, dark prison to be tortured to death?

  
_Well, let's just be optimistic. Negativity isn't healthy, and it sure is a common trait during these dark times._ You take a deep breath. And one more, just to be sure of yourself. Before you could even touch the door, it swung open and a teenager with a wild shock of white hair stepped out. I mean, Junko's followers were known to have a few screws loose, but this guy looked like he didn't have any screws to begin with. His hair was downright filthy and looked like it hadn't been washed in days, but what really unnerved you was the giant, fake smile and swirling eyes. For a second he didn't say anything, just looked you up and down, before he laughed and held out a hand.

  
"Ah, sorry, where have my manners gone? We were expecting you, but we didn't think they'd send someone so...weak. How troubling. Has Future Foundation really laid out all their cards already?"

  
You froze, mid-air, and retreated your hand. _He knew?!_ And he had said _'we';_ did this mean all of the Ultimate Despairs knew about your intentions? The pale boy seemed to notice you're pure terror and held his hands out.

  
"Did you seriously think we wouldn't know you weren't Despair? Well, don't worry. I'm not going to stop you. In fact, I didn't figure it out myself until _he_ mentioned it. But I don't think he'll want to stop you either. So you're fine, for now." He retracts his hand, and holds the door for you patiently. Who was he talking about? And why wouldn't he want to stop you, if he knew your purpose?

  
Either way, you step inside, immediately taking note of the large, ballroom-esque entrance way. The building was even more dreary on the inside than on the outside, which you thought couldn't be possible. The white-haired boy closes the door, and you take note that he locks it as well. He turns to you and smiles before leading you through a corridor that branched off into a set of other hallways.

  
"I assume someone as hopeful and bright as you has thought of an alias, correct?" He asks, not stopping to turn around.

  
"Well, yes. I was supposed to have fallen into despair after finding the despair clip Junko made for the Reserve Course students, but because of my strong mind I have resisted suicide and instead committed my entire being to despair." The words just tumble out of your mouth as you focus on trying to catch up. Oops. _Well, there's no point in holding back information now,_ you think, _as apparently you never were going to have been believed in the first place._

  
The Ultimate Despair slows down a bit so you can catch up, and nods as he intakes your false story. "That's very good, exactly what I would have expected of someone as brilliant as you. That'll work."

  
Your mind is becoming cluttered as you try to remember where you are, and how many turns you've made so far. Until suddenly it's too much, you can't take not knowing anything when you thought you knew it all, and everything was so, so confusing. You latch onto the boy's jacket and he looks at you with shock and then concern.

  
"First of all...I want answers. Tell me right now, how did you know who I was? And why are you calling me brilliant? Are you really an Ultimate Despair? Also, _where_ are you taking me?" You answers come out in giant huffs of breath, and to your disappointment you could feel the beginning of tears. But you had a feeling that if you lost it in front of this guy, he would forget about you here and now. Plus, you had a mission and you damn well intended to complete it. You close your eyes and straighten your posture, as if to establish dominance.

  
The pale skinned boy seems amused at your outbursts and leans against the hallway wall. For the first time, you get to look around, and notice with disgust that there's some mold-type substance in between the ceiling and dark red walls. Nothing else seems to be out of the ordinary, except that the lighting is dim and everything seems small and compressive.

  
"I suppose you would be curious right now. Even though I'm an Ultimate Despair, I believe that despair is necessary for hope to shine it's brightest. So, I'm being patient for now, but you..." you think he's getting just a bit too close than you would like, "... _you_ could be the marvelous hope that crushes our despair!"

  
Okay, he's just as mind fucked as you expected. After he calms down, he goes back to normal as if nothing had happened.

  
"To be honest, we don't know exactly what you want here. But our very own Izuru Kamukura - yes, _that_ one - has suggested we keep you here because you might prove to be interesting. He's also the one who noticed you weren't Despair - of course he could, seeing as how amazingly talented he is. For now, only we know of your true identity - the others have no idea what you're here for, and you have to convince them you're an Ultimate Despair. And to answer your last question, I'm going to take you to them right now. Junko is out preparing for her own newest despair-inducing idea, so you'll have to convince all of us instead. Which is a lot easier, in my humble opinion." As he talks, you walk behind him as he leads you farther down the hall, at a slower rate this time.

  
You let this information sink in. Alright, so your cover's not blown after all. Whoever this guy is, he doesn't seem like a threat, at least right now. And he mentioned Izuru Kamukura. If Izuru wanted to meet you, it wouldn't be too hard to convince him to join the Hope side. After all, you've been contemplating idealizations that you'll teach him. Now, all you have to do is convince the others you're Despair as well, and you're okay.

  
You and the boy reach a large door that you can't help but feel intimidated by.

  
"Wait - what's your name?" You ask.

  
"Komaeda Nagito." He smiles, and the door opens.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet with the Ultimate Despairs and try not to get your arm cut off.

You feel something whiz past your head, and to your surprise you see a large steak knife embedded into the wall right next to your face. For a second you don't realize what just happened until you hear a chorus of laughter and bring your attention to the room in front of you.

  
Sitting around a rectangular table in front of a monitor are six of the other Ultimate Despairs. You think your heart couldn't race faster until you hear Komaeda chuckling and he grips your hand just a little too harshly.

  
"Now now, everyone! Would you really try to kill our newest member?" He asks in that raspy voice of his. He nudges you forward, and you suddenly remember you were supposed to be another Ultimate Despair.

  
"H-hey." You manage to squeak out. You weren't Ultimate Actor for a reason, and a gray-haired girl with a dangerous looking sword and a guy you recognized as Fuyuhiko were glaring at you suspiciously.

  
"Who the fuck are you?! I don't remember her ever announcing another Ultimate Despair was on their way." Even though the former Ultimate Yakuza talked boldly, from what you've seen in the broadcasts, it was his assistant that did the dirty work for him. Of course, you knew most of the Ultimate Despairs from how they wrecked havoc and broadcasted live from almost everywhere in the world. Some of them you've never seen before because they kept low, like Komaeda, and a girl in the back with short red hair. The others you quickly identified as Teruteru Hanamura, who was known for brutally slaughtering people with kitchen utensils and cooking all sorts of poisonous (and sometimes sharp) meals. In person he looked almost harmless, but you quickly think back to the knife and realize that he was the one who threw it.

  
Standing across from him were Souda Kazuichi and Ibuki Mioda, who didn't look very cruel at all. You knew Ibuki was well known for brainwashing masses of people with her music, but you couldn't remember what Souda was well known for at that moment.

  
Then there was the red-haired girl who you often saw taking pictures of the despair, but she never really did anything amazingly awful like the others. Fuyuhiko and the goth-looking girl were the last ones, and from their murderous looks, you thought you had better answer them fast, or you might just lose an arm.

  
"M-my talent was being the Ultimate Psychologist, but ever since I saw the despair video you made for the Reserve Course students, I've thought about nothing but consuming everything with despair. They must've felt so good to die for something so beautiful as despair, I really am jealous. H-however, I thought I might be more useful to the cause if I use my talents to plummet the world even farther into despair!" You end your speech with your hands outstretched, trying to copy Komaeda's sincerely insane smile. You wonder if you said despair far too many times, but the hard looks from Fuyuhiko and the girl ceased.

  
The whole room was eerily silent, before Ibuki lets out a loud laugh and runs up to you to violently pat your back.

  
"This is great, guys! Another Despair! Think of how happy Junko will be when she hears thiiiiiiiiiis!" She continues to pat your back enthusiastically, and you grimace as you wonder if it'll leave marks. Most of the other Ultimate Despairs look a lot less tense, but the girl with the red hair points an accusing finger at you.

  
"Are you sure this isn't a Future Foundation spy? How do we know you really understand us?" She asks, and the gray-haired girl puts her hand back on her sword.  
Crap, you didn't think this far. You turn to Komaeda to see if he'll help you, and he sighs loudly before stepping up.

  
"Don't worry, Izuru checked her background, and she's definitely one of us. Ibuki, why don't you give her a job and a room?" He says quickly, and you watch as Ibuki nods and rushes out the door. You notice that many of the Ultimate Despairs look at peace when Komaeda mentions Izuru, but the red-haired girl, the gray-haired swordswoman, and Fuyuhiko look uncomfortable and downright suspicious. Before anyone can say anything else, Komaeda grips your shoulders and steers you out of the room and into Ibuki's tight hold. He waves at you happily as the multi-color haired chick pushes you down the hall at breakneck speed.

  
"So, you were Ultimate Psychologist? That's kinda like a therapist, right? We don't need any of those crappy do-gooders around here, so you can just throw that out the window! Maybe you can just work for the other Ultimate Despairs and clean up the dead bodies like Komaeda! OOH, or maybe we can just torture you until you can feel yourself going insane!" Ibuki laughs and continues on running. All of those ideas sound shitty to the extreme, so you try to come up with a job before she tries to actually turn you to despair.

  
"What...if...I use my old talent to make people mentally unhealthy, instead of helping them? Kind of how you brainwash people - I can discover the worst parts of the human brain and exploit people with that information."

  
Ibuki thinks this is a good idea - thankfully, as you didn't want to end up dead before you even had a chance to meet Izuru in person.

  
"Great! I'll message Junko and the others right away! Also, here's your key to your room, and one of us will be there at 6 pm to bring you to dinner, lickity-split! See ya!" The frantic girl rushes off to who knows where, and you're left alone in front of a wooden door. You take note that there are no other doors near you, so maybe the Ultimate Despairs didn't trust you enough to give you a room next to theirs. Well, it's better than nothing.

  
Your room wasn't exactly Hotel California. There were no windows, and a plain looking bed in the corner that looked as if it might have a few mysterious insects scuttling around. The wallpaper was the same dark red as the hallways, and thankfully there didn't seem to be any mold substance. There was a small closet and a nightstand. You remembered your room before the Tragedy occurred - it had to be about double the size. But you promised yourself not to think about a better life. It was unrealistic and unhealthy to remember such things.

  
You repeat that to yourself as you lay down on the bed. All you want to do is curl up and take a long nap. It had been an exhausting six hour ride on the helicopter from Future Foundation headquarters to the Ultimate Despair's lair, and you had almost died about three times in the past forty-five minutes. However, you were kind of happy in a sort of sick way. Being Ultimate Psychologist sounded like an important job, but really all it was useful was for finding out what chemicals in your brain caused this sort of sick despair, and eliminating them. It wasn't hard to figure out, but to eliminate them meant possibly destroying that person's memories. Plus, the Ultimate Brain Surgeon was dead and the Ultimate Therapist was far more successful than you in this case. Finally, you had an exciting job, and you honestly couldn't wait to analyze Izuru. You weren't a therapist, but you were curious enough to do whatever it took to bring Izuru to the hope side. After all, wasn't he basically like a God?

  
Thinking about Izuru Kamukura gave you the motivation to sit up and already a plan was formulating. First you raised your skirt to locate the tracker that was positioned around your thigh. You had figured this would be the easiest place to put it, since probably no one would be touching your inner thigh.

  
You pressed the glowing red button on the transmitter and it beeped, signaling that Future Foundation was now updated on your location and that you were alive. Sadly you couldn't write or talk to them directly, but next to the transmitting button there was an orange button that contacted them, letting them know you were ready to be picked up. Hopefully with Izuru.

  
Next, you hooked the key onto the thin belt that held up your pleated skirt and tucked in your blouse. You wished you had a mirror so you could adjust how you looked. After all, you wanted to look like someone worth talking to Kamukura. You open the door and get ready to search for the Ultimate Talent.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izuru Kamukura comes into the the picture, along with an idea about how you will transfer him to Hope.

"God fucking damn it," You mumble to yourself. Three _entire_ hours wandering around this huge goddamn castle-esque building, and you couldn't find Izuru Kamukura. You wish you had brought a pen and paper, because you could have drawn a map while you looked. But no, you hadn't thought of that, and this entire trip was apparently a waste. Your feet ached from walking all day and you were wondering if the sun had set by now when you saw him.

  
You let out a small surprised squeal and jumped back, heart pounding in your chest as the quiet, dark boy stared at you. Izuru Kamukura had managed to avoid video and picture, so all you had was a description of what he looked like. Long, black hair that spiraled down to the floor. Pale skin that contrasted greatly from the pitch black suit he wore. But what really unnerved you were the intense red eyes that watched you, in an almost intimate manner. Yup, definitely, absolutely him.

  
"It was tiring watching you meaninglessly wander the building. Why have you come to us?" Like his appearance, his voice is monotone and bland, giving you an inkling that he was still on the side of despair. You straighten yourself and give him the best smile you could manage, even if you were dead tired and wishing your palm wasn't so sweaty when you held it out for him. He doesn't even glance at your friendly gesture, choosing to look you up and down while you awkwardly put down your hand.

  
"I was sent by the Future Foundation. __________, Ultimate Psychologist. My mission is to transfer you to the side of hope, and take you back with me." You say, choosing to be honest. You had a feeling he would know if you were lying, and you didn't want to find out what he would do then.

  
Izuru's expression doesn't change, and the silence makes you wonder if he didn't hear you. Finally, the vampire-like boy speaks.

  
"You don't have any reasoning that I haven't already thought of. Future Foundation should know this." He says, face as blank as paper.

  
"That's not true, Iz - Kamukura. Your talents are vast, but you can't predict everyone's thought processes and ideas. Plus, if I'm correct, they took away your emotions during the operation. Don't you think it would be nice if I tried to help you? If you could feel despair instead of watching others go through it, you would understand." You smile and try to be comforting. Izuru's expression didn't change, but he nods. He silently points down the hallway.

  
"To the left. Second door." He walks past you, and you watch his black hair sway back and forth as he turns the corner. You get the feeling he didn't want you to follow him. _Well, at least he didn't shoot down my idea,_ you thought, expelling a sigh of relief. The past exhaustion had long since passed and now you felt as if you could run around the entire building out of sheer excitement. You just talked to Izuru Kamukura, the most talented human being ever to exist on Earth. It was like talking to a celebrity - a pale, stoic celebrity that reminded you of those black licorice sticks that you used to eat before Earth turned to absolute shit. You walk back to your room, already thinking about how you were going to help him feel emotions, and also chuckling to yourself because he really did look like licorice.

  
When Future Foundation asked you about this job, you had immediately said yes. Ever since the name _Izuru Kamukura_ was whispered through the workforce, you couldn't help but be curious about this god-like human. What were his opinions on philosophy, politics, religion, etc.? Did he have a personality? And why would he join the Ultimate Despairs?

  
Ruruka was the one who gave you the information you craved, when she had just arrived from interrogating one of the scouting officers. Apparently, Izuru felt no emotion, either because of his multiple talents or because it was forcibly taken from him. He didn't do much except observe and try to find interesting things. And he joined Despair because, according to Ruruka's exact words, "Junko is a manipulative bitch and probably bribed him or something." That was her speculation, but it seemed pretty clear to you. It must be so boring for him, to be able to do and understand everything around him. He was deprived from having the experience of not knowing something, a time every human eventually goes through. You supposed it was like playing a video game where you knew how to beat the game and clear the levels, and Izuru was desperate to find out a secret glitch or a hidden quest so the game wasn't dull. Not a lot of people sympathized with his case like you did. After the Izuru information was leaked, you heard passing conversations where people called him a monster, a freak, or even just a useless waste of Future Foundation's time.

  
You wondered why they hadn't done anything about Kamukura. And that was the day when they informed you of what you had to do, and how it would be dangerous, but if you succeeded it could possibly change the world for the better. People had called you names behind your back, because apparently you were a "fame-seeking bitch that only got this opportunity because of her talent." You didn't bother to correct them. I mean, fuck yeah it would be nice if you finally got some recognization out of this mission. But your main drive was the familiar tug of curiosity about such a strange and intelligent person.

  
_Now,_ you thought, _if I manage to avoid the other Ultimate Despairs, and find a way to show Izuru Kamukura how interesting hope can be, things will most likely turn out okay._ Suddenly your train of thought ceased when you felt yourself pushed sideways and into the hallway wall. There was a loud _thunk_ as your head hit the wallpaper, and you tried to grasp onto something to hold your balance. Thankfully you didn't fall, because a strong hand had you pinned to the cement wall.

  
You tried to focus but everything was blurry and it took a few blinks before you could see that the gray-haired girl from before had a sword pointed at your throat.

  
A low croaking sound escaped and you desperately tried to get away, but also not touch the bamboo sword because you didn't particularly feel like dying today.

  
"Why were you wandering the halls." The question came out more like a statement than a question, and you wondered why there were so many unemotional Ultimate Despairs around here.

  
You couldn't exactly tell her you were looking for Izuru, so you tried to come up with some sort of excuse.

  
"I was trying to find someone to bring me to dinner." You managed, giving her the best puppy-dog look you could manage while being pinned to a wall.

  
She doesn't look she was buying the answer, but she takes her hand off of you.

  
"Ibuki said one of us would take you."

  
"I couldn't help myself....miss, I'm starving, and I don't have a clock in my room. Since you're here, why don't you take me?" You quickly try to change the subject so she doesn't interrogate you further.

  
"My name is Peko Pekoyama." She tells you, and slowly sheathes her bamboo sword. You walk alongside her, noticing how stiff her back is and how her hand never leaves her bag. Peko doesn't seem like she wants to talk, and that's just as well, because you didn't want to accidentally let important information slip out and be dead in the next five minutes. The walk seems to carry on forever, and you wonder exactly how far away you had gone from your room. But the swordswoman seemed to have listened to you, and you enter a large room that you could only guess was some sort of despair-version of a dining hall. Ibuki and the others seemed as if they were halfway through the meal, except Izuru and Teruteru were nowhere to be seen.

  
Peko walks you up to Ibuki, who was pulling the meat off of a shish kebab stick as if nothing was wrong.

  
"You were supposed to bring the newcomer to dinner." Peko states, giving the scene girl a death glare.

  
Ibuki shrugs and makes a sound that could have been a snort. "I thought it would have been more despair-inducing if she starved!"

  
Thankfully, Peko seemed to disagree and pointed you to a chair towards the end of the table. "Master doesn't want her dead yet."

  
Well, that wasn't really comforting, but you walk over and grab a plate of what looked like noodles. As you sit down, you notice that the more important Ultimate Despairs were seated at the other end, such as Fuyuhiko, Peko, and the girl with red hair. Then sat Ibuki, then an empty chair where you supposed Teruteru sat, Souda, and lastly Komaeda. You wondered what his talent was and why he was treated so poorly be everyone, but you honestly didn't feel like talking to him to find out. At least, not at that second. Even though the food looked terrible - was that mold in the cheese? - you were starving and beyond caring. So you kept shoving down the food, oblivious that some of the Ultimate Despairs were giving you strange looks.

  
When you finally finished and looked around at your environment, Ibuki, Souda, and the red-haired girl were gone. All that was left was Komaeda, who was picking at some sort of vegetable, and Fuyuhiko and Peko. They didn't hide the fact that they were glaring at you, and you pretended to study the cracks in the plate.

  
"So, you're the Ultimate Psychologist? What kind of useless ass talent is that?" Fuyuhiko asks, filling the silence with his raspy voice. Peko stayed a motionless statue as she stood behind him.

  
"Yes - I mean, I was. Yeah." You manage. Komaeda finally looked up from his food and raised his hands.

  
"Come on, shouldn't the Ultimate Despairs work together to create a despair so-"

  
"Shut the _fuck_ up, you annoying piece of shit! Or do you want Peko to give you more bruises again, jackass?!" Fuyuhiko yells, banging his hand on the table. Komaeda gives you a queasy smile and looks down at his lap.

  
"Now, I'm no fucking idiot, I know you're up to something. You should've died from that tape you watched, and your story smells like a wad of bullshit, if you ask me. We don't have the authority to kill you, but we will cut you to tiny fucking pieces if we find out you're not on the side of despair. Don't you fucking cross my goddamn path again until Enoshima comes back, and by then she'll have sniffed out your lies, and I can't wait to see Teruteru have fun with carving your stinking body into pieces of meat." With that, Fuyuhiko rises from the table and storms out, Peko trailing behind and giving you one last glare before the duo leave. There's no door to slam, but you have no doubt that if there had been, Fuyuhiko would've shut it as loud as humanly possible.

  
"Well, we do tend to be a chaotic bunch when the others aren't around to straighten things out." You turn to see Komaeda talking to you, his vegetable pushed away and uneaten.

  
"Yeah, I can tell." You say, still feeling a bit unnerved from the 'warm welcome' you had just gotten.

  
"But believe me, this is all worth it for the outcome. Soon, a bright and inspiring hope will blossom from all this tension. A hope so glorious it beats even Junko's despair! Why, you could even be that ho-"

  
Before he could finish his rant, you shove away your plate and turn to leave. You wanted to have a loooong talk with Komaeda about his views on hope later, but right now you were just a bit pissed off with how everyone had been treating you. As you leave, you kind of wish he followed you, because you didn't know where your room was and you also wanted some company.

  
Eventually you find your door after wandering around aimlessly a bit. _Thankfully_ , you thought, because you weren't sure if Peko would keep you alive the next time she found you out and about. You also had stumbled across the same hallway you met Izuru in, and made a mental note to remember where it was so you could find his room from there.  
You check your room, and you find the bare necessities - a toothbrush, toothpaste, an extra roll of toilet paper, and a set of lingerie and pajamas. The clothes looked way too small for you, and you didn't really trust the cleanliness or origin of it. Plus, you realize with a small blush, the bra is a size larger than you.

  
It feels amazing to strip yourself of your grimy clothes, and you check out the shower room so you could maybe take a nice, hot shower to loosten up your muscles. As you turn on the water, you also check for advil or another brand of painkiller to dull the throbbing headache Peko had given you. No luck. All that was in the cabinet were a few bandaids, gauze, some suspicious red 'medicine' and...a few condoms and lube. _Yeah right,_ you thought as you tested the water, _like people would be having sex in these despairing conditions._

  
The water is cold and no matter how you twist the knob, it stays the same temperature. You take a deep breath and wash yourself as quickly as possible. As you frantically scrubbed yourself of sweat, you thought of how you were going to get Izuru to feel emotions. You could always find depression medicine, or make it somehow, and prescribe him with a dosage, but it didn't really seem like the best idea. There was no telling how it would affect him versus a normal human, and you didn't want him to rely on medicine for him to understand and experience emotions. Though you weren't a therapist, you decided maybe that was the way to go. Suddenly an idea popped into your head, and you paused in your vigorous cleaning to think about it.

  
 _What if I showed him positive emotions?_ From your knowledge, Izuru had never experienced kindness or love from another human before. He lived his life through a logical perspective. You wondered if he would understand the concept of loving someone and wanting to help a person with no gain. _That's it! You would show him daily affection and compassion. Maybe then he would prefer the emotion of hope more so than despair._ Well, it was a good plan. Just to be on the safe side you decided to ask around for depression medications as well.

  
You hop out of the freezing shower and look around for a towel. Only to realize there was never one to begin with.

  
_Great,_ you think to yourself, _I'm cold, soaking wet, and no clothes I would wear._ You check the pajamas again and reconsider wearing them, but you decide against it once more. The bed is dingy and the sheets don't do much to provide warmth. Eventually you fall asleep from the exhaustion of today, and hope that tomorrow would be the day that your plan will come to fruition.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are introduced better to Hanamura and Mahiru, and Izuru is there.

The next day you made sure to wait to eat breakfast, just in case Fuyuhiko and Peko were inside the dining room. Thankfully, no one was there. You weren't quite sure what time it was since there was no alarm clock in your room, but you knew it had to be at least midday from the red lighting through the window and a ferocious growling emanating from your stomach. There didn't seem to be any food laid out in the dining room, so you made your way to a rusty steel set of double doors, which lead to a small, kitchen-esque room. You pretended to not notice the various bloody knives and forks and couldn't help but wonder whose blood it was. Looking around, you were overjoyed to see some sort of fridge and opened it only to find a single carton stuffed with moldy slime. The smell almost made you retch and you turned to the side, gasping in fresh air.

  
"You can only eat when Hanamura cooks." You jump and turn around, pressing into the counter. _Jesus,_ you think, _Izuru_ _**really** needs to stop pulling shit like this._

  
You straighten up, suddenly self conscious about your messy hair and crinkled clothes.

  
"What time is it?" You ask.

  
"11. Lunch is in an hour. Why haven't you done anything yet?" Izuru speaks.

  
"I was going to but I-I just woke up and...I was hungry." You feel your face heat up as you stuttered through your words. Talking to Izuru made you feel inferior no matter what he was doing. Honestly, if he was baking a cake and asking you for eggs you probably would feel like a load of shit because you couldn't get it for him immediately.

  
Izuru leans against the counter on the opposite side of the room. Was he waiting for...? Oh, oh yeah. You turn and search through the cabinets for something edible, until you find some old muffins. _Good enough,_ you think, and you turn back to Izuru. Without a word he walks out, and you follow him because where else would you go? Plus, now was good time than any to explain your plan for him. As he guides you through the winding corridors and you struggle to keep up, you talk him through your ideas.

  
"So, I'm aware of the fact that you only have memories from...this life, and not who you were previously. I don't know who you used to be, but I'm sure you used to have a loving family and friends who cared a lot about you. A-and you haven't experienced how good it feels to be in a safe environment. So-"

  
"Being in a predictable environment, with people who act cordial and fake because that's what's expected of them. How boring." Izuru adds in. You frown, although he can't see you.

  
"You're only saying that because you're thinking of that from a logical perspective. Whether something is boring or not doesn't matter. You don't know what it's like to feel happiness, so of course everything is boring to you. Despair isn't the answer!"

  
Izuru stops and opens the door to his room silently. As concerned you were about him, you stop thinking for a while to study the room. It was a lot nicer than yours, but just as plain. There was a king-sized white bed, a window, a rather spacious closet, and a nightstand. The wallpaper was dark red like everything in this damn castle, though.  
There weren't any chairs to sit on so you awkwardly stand as he sat on his bed. You briefly considered eating the muffins, but having Izuru give you that blank, imposing stare while you ate...it didn't sound very appetizing.

  
"If you can prove that there's something more to life than obvious outcomes and events, that despair isn't needed, I'll join Future Foundation." You tried to suppress a smile.  
"Well, I was thinking that I could find anti-depressants for you, to help you feel emotional. Or I could always make my own medicine using what knowledge I have of how the brain functions." You try, but if he was liking the idea, it sure didn't show on his face.

  
"All the medicines in about a 40 mile radius have been used or wasted by people who didn't deserve them to begin with. I'm not wasting my time on trivial manners that are supposed to create feeling. You should know that such treatments take weeks. Enoshima is planning to come and investigate you."

  
Oh, shit, right. You tremble slightly at the mere mention of the mastermind's name. It was too cruel, what she did to people, what she did to your friends, your family - Izuru didn't know better.

  
"I...I don't know you well. But I do have hope that you'll come around. Just play along with me for a week." You manage. The Ultimate Therapist used to complain to you about how people thought the treatments were stupid and unfulfilling, and you realized now how she felt.

  
"Is this really what Future Foundation has planned? I thought it would be more interesting than this." Izuru says, not even bothering to look at you anymore. "How predictable."

  
Your stomach drops as he seems to have forgotten all about you. You move out of his way and he leaves the room without so much as a "goodbye". The bed looks awfully comfy, and because you had nothing to do for thirty minutes you flop onto the soft cushions to think. Izuru Kamukura wasn't a pessimist, or an optimist - he was a realist. However, it was almost as if he didn't have any hope at all that he would get better at empathy. To be honest, it felt like he already knew the result of all of this, and was just pulling you - and the Future Foundation - along on a string. You briefly consider whether you should approach Plan B. Take Izuru by force and leave.

  
But doing that to someone, even if he was an emotionless, all-powerful human - he _was_ still a human - and it felt downright cruel. Plus...he was intriguing, no matter how you tried to deny it. He seemed simple enough - thought everything was boring, neutral, and he was even rude at times. Maybe there was something more to him than that.  
You sit up, thinking you should go get lunch. Talking to a random Ultimate Despair didn't seem like a good idea, so you decided to try and find Komaeda and ask him about Izuru. There had to be someone here who had a better idea of who Izuru was, and how he was before the...operation. Plus, you were fairly certain Komaeda would protect you in case someone had a change of heart and decided to kill you. Probably.

  
Even though the corridors were dimly lit, you were starting to get a mental map of the castle. Well, at least how to get from your room to the diner, and to Izuru's room. You were sure you could make it by yourself, but of course, a shrill feminine voice stops you.

  
"Just where do you think you're going without guidance?" You turn around to see the redhead girl from before jabbing an accusing finger in your face. She didn't look very threatening, thankfully, and you thought that maybe you could get to know her better.

  
You raise your hands and give her the best heart-warming smile you could manage.

  
"Please, go easy on me, I was just making my way to lunch." You say.

  
"Then why were you in Kamukura's room?! Don't tell me he was having his way with you? In that case, I guess that's despair - inducing enough. Carry on." She seems to lose interest in that topic but you can't fight off the blush and sick feeling you got in your stomach.

  
"Kamukura wouldn't do that to me if I wasn't interested as well!" Even though the words leave your mouth, you weren't sure if that was true. He didn't seem like he would do something so monstrous, but he might just go along with the idea if it seemed less boring than everything else.

  
"Whatever! He's a freak, anyways." She looks surprised at her own statement and looks around before speaking in softer tones. "Never mind that. Both Kamukura and Junko would have my head for sure. I'm just saying, it's like he gets a free pass to do whatever he wants. Does he even love and admire Junko like the rest of us? Does he appreciate her despair? Since he's Ultimate Talent, you would think he spreads more despair than all of us combined, but he chooses to do nothing. Guys like that are simply awful. By the way, I'm Mahiru." Mahiru whispers to you. She continues walking to the lunch room, having forgotten that she was pissed at you. You choose to walk a few steps behind, processing this information. It wasn't like you didn't already know it, but there was a certain feeling of truth when someone shares the same opinions and thoughts that you do. If the Ultimate Despairs were doubting Kamukura, did that mean he hadn't caused despair yet? This was a lot better than your assumption that he was already on despair's side. Even if he remained neutral like he is now, it would be helpful if he at least lived with the Future Foundation instead.

  
You couldn't help but feel a little bit - okay, a _lot_ \- overwhelmed at the fact that Izuru's fate rested like a slab of concrete on your shoulders. Technically, Future Foundation's shoulder - but it was kind of like a nice daydream to imagine that Izuru Kamukura was influenced by someone like you.

  
Mahiru snaps her fingers in your face to get you to pay attention. There seemed to be a repeating trait of ill manners in this building.

  
"Are you an idiot? I was talking to you!"

  
"Oh, sorry." You say, even though you definitely were not sorry in the slightest bit.

  
"What I'm trying to say is, even though Kamukura is paying some attention to you, this isn't the time to get a big head. A lot of people here don't think you're an Ultimate Despair, so Hanamura wants to put you to the test. I know you just got busy with Kamukura, but Hanamura might try something, so I'd recommend bringing a condom just in case. Unless, of course, it's more despair-inducing to get pregnant by that freak."

  
You want to tell her that _no_ , you did not have sex with Kamukura and you definitely were not going to be doing it with Hanamura either. But Mahiru wasn't listening anymore since you two had arrived at the dining room. Ibuki and Komaeda were there, Komaeda sitting awkwardly in the back and smiling at you while Ibuki ranted about something to Mahiru. You crept away from the Ultimate Despairs, only to feel something slide up your skirt.

  
"Whoooo, boy, I knew we had a Ultimate Despair among us, but I didn't know she wore such... _revealing_ outfits." You look around, confused where that voice was coming from. A slight cough from down below showed a rather small and porky-looking man, whose hand was resting on your thigh. Disgusted, you tried to fight the urge to kick him in his face.

  
"Um, you're Teruteru Hanamura, right?" Only someone that was as gross as the cook would touch you like this. He smiles, and looks almost a bit too proud of his infamous name.

  
"Ah, so you do know my name! It's good to hear sexy ladies around the world recognize my amazing abilities!" Hanamura smiles and looks a bit lost in his own narcissistic thoughts for a bit. Then, he (thankfully) lifts his hand off of you and leads you into the kitchen. Since you had been there an hour ago, nothing had changed much, except for a giant pot of murk boiling over the stove.

  
"They used to call you the Ultimate Psychiatrist, right? Does that mean you know some brain-altering foods?" He asks you seriously, as he takes some sort of soggy vegetable and dumping it into the brew. You knew that vitamin B helped depression and anxiety, but you didn't really know what foods made people mentally unhealthy. Since healthy foods seemed to have a positive affect, then maybe...?

  
"I think just lots of junk food will do the trick."

  
Hanamura looks disappointed, and waits for you to come up with a better answer.

  
"Sugar is known to cause various disorders and can even change the chemicals in your body if you have a large dosage, repeatedly." Even though Hanamura still looks unsatisfied, he nods and wobbles over to the cabinet and you hear some clattering pots and pans.

  
He returns with an entire bag of sugar and chocolate. Without further commentary, he dumps the entire bag of sugar and a few scoops too many of chocolate chips into the boiling soup.

  
"Wish you'd told me before I put the vegetables in! Now we'll all have sugar for all three meals! We'll be absolutely deranged by the end of this week!" He lets out a laugh, and you laugh along with him, even though you're really not enjoying this new food menu. Before you leave, he slaps your ass and winks at you. _God_ you want to kill him.  
When you leave, you see that Peko and Fuyuhiko had entered, but their backs were towards you for the moment. Before they could see you, you silently snuck out and decided to wait outside until they left. Then hopefully you could grab something to eat that wasn't sugary soup.

  
You huddle outside for what seems like forever. Thinking about what your future terrified you, so you chose to count the amount of peeling paint on the wallpaper in front of you. You reached number 204 before the loud noise inside the dining hall had died down and you could feel someone staring at you. Komaeda stood behind you, carrying a few muffins that you had taken before and a small bowl of what looked like the sugary soup.

  
"Peko and Fuyuhiko don't plan on leaving for a while, and it would be just my luck if you died so soon because of starvation." He sits down next to you and you try not to immediately shove the muffins down your throat. Komaeda waits patiently until you're done, and you begin eating the soup at a much slower pace. It tasted like some seven year old's dream, aka diabetes in a bowl. You decide it's better to starve than have to swallow something like that.

  
"Mahiru says you and Izuru were getting busy. Respectively, it's none of my business, but I assume you two were doing something much different, no?" Komaeda asks. His blank smile gives away nothing, but you were relieved that he didn't believe Mahiru's lies.

  
"Yeah. Um, I'm trying to figure out ways to make Izuru feel emotion. Specifically happiness." You tell him. Yes, this white-haired kid did seem really off, but it was nice talking to someone who wasn't Ultimate Despair. Izuru technically wasn't either, but you couldn't really have a casual conversation with the Ultimate Talent.

  
"Ha ha, well that's an interesting way to go about bringing him to the side of hope. I can't imagine him taking well to a situation that isn't dire, though." Komaeda says, staring into open space as if he were thinking about something.

  
"Why don't you come with me to help Izuru? I'm sure you know him better than I do, and someone as...interesting as you might help him be entertained while I try to find ways to cheer him up." The proposal slips out before you know it. You weren't sure if becoming closer with Komaeda and dragging him into this was such a good idea. Even though he seemed to worship hope on some sort of level, he was still on the side of despair. He could try to ruin the progress you make with Izuru.

  
"I'm hardly anyone to help with two amazing people. But, if you insist, I could bring board games or a movie. There are still some happy, nice ones if you look hard enough around the city." Komaeda smiles at you, and for the first time it seems like it wasn't forced. You thank him and he says he'll return soon, and to wait right there.

  
Sitting on the floor wasn't really interesting at all, and you wonder if this is how Izuru feels all the time. Just like you knew that there were...246?...pockets of peeling paint on the wall in front of you, Kamukura knew what was happening around him no matter what it was. Still, it's not like you were motivated enough to do something terrible, or want something terrible to happen, to alleviate the heaviness of boredom. You knew Komaeda would be back, and talking to him and feeling his presence brought hope and happiness. Izuru didn't know what this felt like. It would be hard creating a place for such feelings to blossom during dark times, but maybe you and Komaeda could pull it off.

  
"Don't waste time sitting there." You look up, pulled out of your train of thinking to stare at something large and black. At first you couldn't tell what it was, until you spotted red eyes staring down on you.

  
"O-oh, Kamukura, why are you here?" You stand up, fixing the skirt so he couldn't see the panties that were previously exposed. He doesn't say anything, choosing to walk into the dining room and then reappearing with...a banana.

  
It was strange watching Kamukura eat, as you followed him to wherever he was dragging you.

  
"It's boring if I grow sick, I'm not eating the putrid dish the cook made." He states, noticing the strange look you gave him. You nod and look away, embarrassed. Izuru didn't initiate any more conversation as he brings you to his room. Before you enter, you realize that Komaeda would be looking for you.

  
"Hey, wait, Komaeda-"

  
"He won't be returning soon, as I expected." Izuru's words fill you with dread as you step into his room. You didn't know why Komaeda wouldn't be returning, or why Izuru wasn't explaining, and you glance reluctantly at the door as Izuru shuts it behind you.


End file.
